The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was
buried in a lightly greased coffin.

   Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including
Mrs.Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the
Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

   The grave site was piled high with flours.

   Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a
man who never realized how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in
show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as
a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

   Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, their two children - John Dough and Jane Dough and they had one in the oven. He is survived by his
elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 345 for about 20 minutes.

   Just thought you'd all like to know.   -Al